There are some nights when, no matter what you do, you just can't sleep. You have taken the warm tea or milk, you have read a good novel but still aren't sleepy. What then? Well, you can pray and I do try to take advantage of this time to do just that. I also go over recent doings around my house and life and mull what has to be done, not so much worrying as just getting a tab on things. But then you are done with that. You look at the clock and it is only 1:00a.m. Now is where it gets interesting. Now is the think tank time.
Where I start doesn't matter. I may spend an hour or so just thinking about a teacher I had in first grade and something about that teacher reminds me of a drama teacher I had in high school. I will dwell on these scenes for some time and another memory of a school friend I knew then will come to me and I will wonder where they are. These free flowing thoughts can go on all night. When I am truly alert, I can compose whole letters in my mind that I could write if I had to. I often get ideas about things to do in the future and have to get up and write them down.
What I was thinking of as unusual was how many thought sessions I have behind me at my age. There are just so many little pockets of images and feelings and scenes to go through. I have lived a long time already. A life is built on all of the little things that we do that pile up to one big life. Maybe our lives are so busy, we don't have time to go through these little sessions and assess where we are and where we want to go,
In the morning after one of these times I'm somewhat sleepy but not too worse for wear. As long as they don't happen too often (and they don't), I am thankful that I can clear the air, look at what was and start over with what will be.